The Haunter of the dark

to H.P.Lovecraft and his world

The bell ones sounded,

with echo deep and dark,

into the night's embrace, 

followed by a distant bark.

Above the church tower

a shadow grew in height, 

the place looked no more holy,

surrounded by unlight.

Strange whispers filled 

the starless skies,

marking in an awe

the Haunter of the dark's rise.

Survivor

I have nothing but the words,

they have been all I got, 

for years now, just serving me,

to every purpose that I thought.

Expressing every moment,

every memory in this life,

that I lived from heavens down to hell,

from every jump to every dive.

So many times til now,

to follow there's no path,

so swum I in the streams

from any "this" to "that".

And here I am...

Survival of the fittest?

Well, being alive

is the reward most sweetest!

All I love

Why do I meet in my life

all who I love so late

that I never get chance

to get all the time that I need...

It is cruel like that,

nd so meaningless,

it just doesn't make sense...

Yet I still dig so deep in it,

trying to hold on it,

cause I can't give up hope,

when all love's in my reach.

Seagulls

I love to wake up
at the screams of seagulls
in the morning light.

It's always been the sea
that moved my soul to peace,
though born in mountain skirts.

How far I've gone
in the pursuit of all the waves,
that sing into my mind.

Finally I settled down,
where the sea went deep
to kiss the mountain,

deep into the fjord,
and both my worlds I dreamt,
they just collided.

I wake up in the summer now
to the voices of those seagulls
and feel the piece of mind.

Sergei

My little everything you were!

There was no moment 

that was not overwhelmed

by this sweet stare

of your big eyes,

the purr like dove

you made by touch surprising,

the love you gave me, 

so unconditional

it stole my heart!

My little everything you are!

I still hear all the sounds

you made around me,

the way you waited at the door,

the happy run into the kitchen, 

when I was meant to follow

and give treats...

I see and hear that all still!

My little everything you will be!

You'll hang around my neck,

the necklace with a piece of you, 

your sweetest soul 

will fly around me,

because we're bound together-

you and me,

my little boy, 

my sweet love, 

my forever Sergei!

Har glemt

Det gjør så vondt
å tape dagene,
bortkastet
i det samme mørket.
Hodet fullt av
tanker helt urolig,
når blir det fri
av dette alt?
Lys var før,
i begynnelsen,
inn i sjelen,
bakk så langt før.
Nå er det bare
overskyet,
kun tåke
og en evig natt.
Og spiler ingen rolle,
at ute sola skinner,
at fuglene flyr fri
med vårens sang.
Alt dette er
så bort fra øynene,
så bort herfra,
og åpnes ving'ne ikke mer....
Har glemt
hvordan å fly!

Anxiety

There's always something,
a pain, a symptom or a faint,
no rest for the mind, no break,
anxiety's cruel brush and paint.

Dark walls, no breath to take,
a neverending cycle vicious,
panick attacks blend in the mix,
not exactly a life delicious.

But not the fear is so bad,
nor all the false alarms,
it's the tiring exhaustment,
the loosing hope, that harms.

Anxiety's most evil part.

Get a grip!

Get a grip,
easy said than done,
but life waits not,
so Get a grip!

Get a grip,
even if all seems bad,
even in despair,
just Get a grip!

Get a grip,
nobody cares about,
just expectations,
to Get a grip!

Get a grip,
on your poor back,
on your behalf they think it's fine
to say Get a grip!

Get a grip,
all you, who talk and talk,
don't tell me, do it yourself,
you, critics, Get a grip!

I need a coder

I need a coder in my life,
to fix all faults, the errors,
there are so many bugs
and blue screens happening,
the good luck's lagging.

From wake up's lack of options
to the good night strings
that lead to program missing sign
and all the lines unreadable,
that is just constant restart.

I need a better coder for this life,
'cause the original creator obviously sucks.

Tungt

Det føles tungt,
så tungt,
at noe ganger
selv sjelen orker ikke
å fortsette...
Når livet kommer
med sitt hard'ste
og bryter ryggen
som seg prøver
å heve verden.

Det føles tungt,
men... meg ingen tvung't,
jeg elsker dypt så 'gjen forsetter!

Laktash

    My name is Laktash. And that's my name. It's mine. As is the soul. However, it would be a lie about the body if I said that. It is not called so. Laktash is me. The body is Tiberius. It was. Then I took it from him. And I don't know where Tiberius is. I especially want you to understand that I don't care about even the tiniest idea, the tiniest hint of where he is. He was just a resident of this world and I needed his body. Like a ship in the midst of the sea, where I shelter and hide from the storms. To go on a journey and it takes me to new places and new feelings. When you take away someone's body, you never know what happened to their soul. I do not know either. I do not want to.

    I was born Laktash. And it was in Beyond. In Nothingness I was conceived and there I appeared. No body. And for a long time I stood there, and the world from here was but a shadow. Like in a foggy mirror. Lights and outlines, darkness and vague ideas. But something was bothering me. Silent anger in my aimless wandering through the Nothingness of my home. No one can get even the faintest idea of ​​what the soul that soars Beyond experiences. It's like you're freezing, but death never comes. And nothing corporeal should be familiar to you. You won't understand me. More importantly, hatred seeps like mold on the surface of all your thoughts. Not the one with ardor and fervor, with tension. But long and cold like winter and eternal ice.

    I had decided to get to the World. And I was lurking in the darkness, where reality breaks and a gate to Nothingness opens. In an dead end alley that ends with a wall. And on the wall wises a grotesque image, beyond which I was waiting. And there came Tiberius in the evening that was unfortunate for him. He stood and looked... and I went through the portal. Oh, how the body writhes when it feels the icy fingers of death. And how the lips curse and wail. Sometimes bitterly, sometimes with the inner fire of an accuser against this abomination so unjust. And the eyes of Tiberius - there was nothing left of the warmth of the green in them. Now they are blue-grey. Like me. I was thirsty and tried all the feelings you are capable of. I have deceived the senses of the body with all the temptations of the flesh. There's one thing I haven't been able to try, and it eats me the most. And it causes severe envy and my hatred becomes a hundredfold. I couldn't see what the "warmth in the heart" was. You have poets and writers, artists and musicians. And they keep singing about this "love". A warm feeling. The only warm feeling I had was when I put my hand on a hot stone in a bonefire, and I think it was terrible. If love really warms the soul so much more - then I don't want to know that thrill.

    And now it's time to punish you. For every moment I spent in Nothingness. To make you repent one by one, because you feel things that are foreign to me. First I streched that wretched body to tower over yours that it casted a shadow over at least five. And I endowed it with wings, in which I wove all the impenetrable darkness of the Beyond. I wrapped it in fuzzy outlines and called it "Horror". Now I was not alike of Tiberius. And you called me with the single word "Demon". "From where I come, there are many like me, and poor be you all, for the cold of my hatred will consume you all and send you into Nothingness." That's what I thought at first when I started building temples in my honor and making you bow down before me, then encased you in ice in a horrible sacrificial ritual. I had become Laktash the One. All-powerful and all-absorbing. And many of you I have erased. I changed and changed, turned everything into the forms known to me. I was tearing down, then building a perverted new forms. And so, until I stopped calm and looked at myself - for me a moment passed, for you an epoch.

    Now the world is almost deserted, and people move like vague shadows. They don't even remember who they are or where they are from. And the darkness is so thick that it has become impenetrable. And everything seems to resemble the Beyond. And it was as if I was looking again into the mirror that I hate. The prison of my soul from which I so desperately wanted to escape. And here I am again in front of it.

                                                            

                                                          Hieronymus Bosch - A Violent Forcing Of The Frog

My winter

I lost my winter.

Of all the seasons out,

it was the one for me,

fresh coldness,

barely a sun light,

I felt it so deep

as a creature of an inner darkness...

But then the wheel,

the damn wheel

of bad times,

went all over the wings

of winterpleasure.

Yet I have never

given up on things

that matter all to me!

So I will wait with patience

for my old friend -

the winter -

and all of night freeze beauty,

all darkness and all cold

will be again just mine,

will be again my own!

Rain

There's something 'bout the rain,

the falling drops of coldness,

a freshness and some clearing,

but yet it comes with sadness.

Where's the line in such a moment,

which separates the mood swings

between the joy and desperation,

as dark clouds bring the winds.

Just close your eyes and hear it,

let the sound of water banging

on the window glass with rhythm

and your mind will stay there hanging...

Within the deepest secret thoughts. 

Worth

Why is it so hard

with the small things?

You can move mountains,

have a breakthrough

in the field of science...

But when your loved ones,

once they get some issue,

the smallest of them -

tooth hurting or a cold,

your heart starts racing

and all gets dizzy!

Is that the price

for love we feel

that we must pay?!

So be it then,

let's have it that way,

'cause love is awsome

and all is worth,

when greatful eyes

stare straight at you! 

Undergang

Så står jeg mørk
på fjellets toppen,
med ving'ne spredt
og fyr i kroppen.
Hvor gjemmer du seg,
patetisk feiging,
veien din er nå
utten betydning.
Min tid er kommet,
på jorden hersker,
allmektig konge,
av alt du elsker.
Til evig åpent
Helvetes dør'ne,
himmelen skal snart
sam'n med deg brenne.

Trolldom

Lek med ord,
gjør ikke vondt,
slitne vinger,
sliten ånd,
mørkhet sprer
i livets tid,
kråker skriker
i skogens midt,
gammel heks
med trolldom svart
å ta deg kommer
trolig snart,
ingen sted
å gjemme seg,
skjebnen ferdig
er med deg!

The mind, the liar

The head can be a cage,
an enemy with lies,
so treacherous,
yet all you feel
is awfully too real,
so you're damn lost
in it's whispers
of what's going on!
There is no hiding,
can't silence those vile words,
it's your own mind,
no chance of running out
from this place horrid
that it has now described!
All worries, all the pain,
the symptoms,
self proclaimed,
nothing but a phantom
who's plaguing
on your soul!
If only you could silence,
even for a second,
them damaged thoughts!

That's that

Life has this way
Consuming you without a breath to take
A small child in a waffle store
"Excuse me can I have a person
with a strawberry jelly...
just on top?!"
It chews and chews and chews...
So here I am, just bones and skin,
some flesh already spitted...
It's all you get - leftovers,
You better like'em
cause that is all you get,
but let me still just introduce:
"Hallo..."

Embrace it

You will always carry darkness
in your heart, my friend,
because it has been always there,
ever since you born have been.
It dwells, it roars or hides,
it fills the corners of your mind,
it has been part of you
and it will be forever.
No matter if you fight it
or you succumb to what it wants,
you can't escape a shadow,
if that shadow is your own.
Embrace it who you are
and think no more of possibilities,
for you live only one life
and it is burden you to bare!

The Cycle

A time for murder...

Kill...

Despair...

A time for Death...

Decay... disposal...

The full moon cycle...

Here we go again...

The Zodiac has never been?!